Understanding & Building Executive Function in Our Children

Hudson Community First – Community of Care Speaker Series
Presenter: Meghan Barlow, Ph.D. • Date: November 6, 2025 • Location: Hudson Montessori School

Dr. Meghan Barlow returned to our Community of Care series to demystify Executive Function (EF), the group of brain-based skills that help children regulate behavior, manage emotions, and complete goal-directed tasks. Rather than a single “boss,” Dr. Barlow described EF as an orchestra: distinct sections (skills) that must play together to perform the “song” (everyday tasks like waiting, getting ready, or finishing homework).

What Executive Function Includes:

• Impulse Control – pausing before acting or interrupting

• Working Memory – holding and using information (short- and long-term)

• Emotion Control – managing feelings to stay on task and relate well to others

• Self-Monitoring – noticing one’s behavior, thoughts, and impact

• Planning & Prioritizing – seeing the steps and deciding what matters most

• Task Initiation – moving from “I know” to “I’m doing”

• Organization – keeping track of materials and information

• Flexible Thinking – shifting perspectives and approaches when plans change

Dr. Barlow emphasized that EF is not a one-size-fits-all timeline. Children (and adults) have unique “wheels” of strengths and lagging areas, and these profiles interact with real-life demands at home and school. While ADHD and autism commonly involve EF challenges, EF weaknesses can occur without a diagnosis.

Why It Matters

We all use EF all day: to make friends, manage routines, solve problems, and participate in school and community life. Instead of labeling a child as having “good” or “bad” EF, families can notice which skills are strong, which need support, and how different situations amplify or strain those skills.

Growing EF Skills: Everyday Opportunities

• Games & Play: card/strategy games (e.g., memory, Skip-Bo) build working memory, planning, and flexibility.

• Passion Projects: tapping genuine interests (especially in MS/HS) sustains effort and task initiation.

• Books & Shows: discuss characters’ choices and emotions to practice perspective-taking and problem-solving.

• Modeling: narrate your thinking out loud (“First I set a timer, then I sort…”).

• Habits & Routines: simple, repeatable systems beat willpower alone.

• Collaborative Problem-Solving: work with your child to define the problem, brainstorm options, choose a plan, and reflect—this process strengthens all EF areas.

Practical Strategies You Can Use Tonight

Time Management (mornings/bedtime)

• Visuals (picture schedules or simple comic strips)

• Cues (a song, timer, or alarm to signal “what’s next”)

• Plan backward, execute forward: picture the end goal, then list the steps needed now—great for all ages.

Transitions

• Acknowledge the hard part: stopping a preferred activity to start a non-preferred one.

• Avoid launching new tasks right before known transition crunch times.

• Expect resistance, keep momentum, and coach the next step rather than getting stuck in the pushback.

Getting Started

• Spark imagination: “Can you be a helper?” (identity) works better than “Can you help?” (task).

• Invite the child to visualize themselves doing the first step; then act on that picture.

Tools & Resources

• Book: Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson—includes child and teen questionnaires to identify EF strengths and growth areas.

• School Partnership: Ask teachers what level of parent support is appropriate for specific assignments and routines.

• Fit Check: Compare your child’s EF “wheel” with your own and with your family’s realities. Where will friction show up? Where can strengths shine?

View Slides HERE.